Marital Conflict Resolution Strategies of Married Men

Conflict Resolution in Marriage ( with printable worksheet) | CMP

People who are skilled in managing their emotions in an empathetic way tend to effectively manage conflict and succeed in marriage. They have learnt to consider the feelings of the other person. They discuss issues in a courteous way, understand, honour and respect each other. They listen and express admiration for each other leading to feelings of closeness, intimacy and happiness.

You create a relationship where you are free to express your feelings and emotions without blame, criticism or judgment from the other person. On your own part, you have learnt to name your feelings, saying exactly how you feel. You identify what triggers these feelings, find the right word to describe it and communicate this calmly and clearly to your wife.

The result is that you are able to make your wife listen and you both discuss and find solutions to resolve the conflict. Building a marriage where there is emotional support, encouragement especially in times of stress or sadness. You have achieved this because of the ability to listen to your wife. Listening in an empathetic way. Listening when she wants to communicate and placing value on what she says. Understanding and allowing her perspective, feelings and needs in your decision making process as a couple.

You can manage conflict in a healthy and respectful way. Letting go of the need to be right or win an argument rather, ask for her needs and search for a solution together. Don’t belittle her, raise your voice or curse. Listen more. Creatively find new ways to love your wife. Show your love to her. Surprise her with nice words. Be her friend. Being confident in your role as the husband. If there are problems you cannot handle on your own, consider using the following processes.

Marital Conflict Management of Married Women

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Conflict management skills are worth honing to rebuild and strengthen important relationships. Management strategies to manage and resolve conflicts better improving relationships. Unresolved anger and conflicts can damage relationships but when properly handled, brings couples closer and helps them avoid greater issues such as resentment, domestic violence and divorce.

There are powerful skills that foster healthy conflict resolution including effective communication, empathy e active listening. Good communication is key to defuse anger and escalating arguments. Good, positive communication helps you control your temper and emotions, get to the root of the problem instead of struggling with the symptoms.

Poor communication always results in misunderstandings and eventually conflicts such as assumptions. Don’t assume, be careful about your tone of voice and learn to listen carefully. Speak calmly using positive non verbal clues. Understand, respect and honour your partner. Make use of respectful conversation that enables  everyone gets the same picture to resolve the situation.

 

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Listen carefully for better understanding. Speak appropriately while maintaining good eye contact. Present your ideas adapting your language to him with consideration and clarity. Talking to him frankly when you need it.

Learning to be more empathetic as a partner. Putting yourself in his place. Putting yourself in his shoes and feeling what he is feeling. This way, you are able to better understand and share his feelings, what he is thinking and feeling. Communicate about his emotions and feelings without blaming, criticism or judging him. Consider and understand his condition and needs from his perspective caring about his well-being the way you care about your own.

Be comfortable and confident in your role and unique relationship. Look forward, not backward. Appreciate him for the little things he does and say thank you. Think happy thoughts. Act positive. Practice honesty. Watch your words. Practice humility. Be attractive to him, touch, hug and be tender with him outside of bedroom. Give him a hug and kiss when he comes home. Foster positive relationships in life, respecting yourself and others.

Conflict Management Education in Schools

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Conflict management education is beneficial for children in their relationships. It helps them relate better. They learn to manage emotions, become problem solvers and maintain good relationships. It decreases the incidents of violence.

Teaching children conflict management skills is beneficial to society as a whole.  It can help reduce fighting, bullying, harassment and other forms of violence among students and in the society. They learn the skill set and concepts for understanding how to prevent, manage and resolve conflicts, competing needs and interests without resorting to violence.

They learn to talk through their differences focusing on the problem not on the personalities and come up with a resolution together. Control their emotions, respect others and appreciate individual differences. It empowers them to be responsible, disciplined and to build leadership qualities. Gaining the ability to be able to influence their parents and siblings. They carry these into their adult lives, workplace and personal relationships.

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Incorporating conflict resolution education in the curriculum will facilitate children solve problems peacefully and resolve conflicts independently even as adults. They learn to think before reacting because the tendency in a conflict situation is to react immediately. They learn to listen actively, manage emotional expressions and de-escalate potentially explosive situations without violence.

Students are empowered with the skills to resolve differences peacefully using positive behaviour that they have not been able to learn at home. These skills can be developed through conflict resolution activities that can be fun such as role play, games, books that teach conflict resolution, creative writing, mediation role plays and conflict coaching.

Teens, Let’s Talk about Stuff that Matters

Choose your friends wisely

It is said that you go as the friends you keep. Choose your friends wisely. Choose the right friends. Avoid those who give you bad advice, make you do what you do not want to do or what is not right. This is peer pressure. Avoid negative influences. Learn to say ‘No’ and mean it.

Make friends with those who share your values. Associate with good and responsible people. Associate with those who make positive influence on you. A person who stops being your friend was never a friend.

Some teenagers give in to negative peer pressure because they want to be liked, they do not want to be made fun of or due to curiosity. Walk away from situations and people that will make you compromise your standards and convictions.

Teenagers who know what they want and are not afraid to say ‘no’ to negative peer pressure attract the respect and admiration of others.

Respect others

Respect yourself and others. Have empathy for others. Nobody has the right to hurt anyone. Everyone needs to be respected. Build self  respect and respect for others. Don’t touch another person inappropriately. Develop self discipline. Become a disciplined person.

Don’t exert control and power over others. Do not be a bully. Don’t bully others. People who do this lack good self-esteem and do this to seek attention.

Avoid those who coerce, tease, intimidate or threaten others. They are bullies. Ignore them. They act to gain attention. They usually end up in trouble. A bully is the one with a problem not you. The good news is that they can change their behaviour. They can learn to respect others and build good relationships. Well-behaved teenagers earn the respect of their peers.

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Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your well-being. Take responsibility for your health. Take responsibility for your life. Be health and safety conscious. Protect yourself from substances that can harm your body and mind. Stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarette. Avoid people who use them and pressure others to do the same. Participate in those things that promote your health, safety and well-being.

Some young people get introduced to drugs, alcohol and smoking by their friends. They experiment with these substances because they want to be accepted but become addicted.

Some in search of relief when going through emotional pain try these illicit substances and instead of finding relief become addicted. They rely on smoking or drinking to make their hurt go away temporarily but these are wrong options.

It is normal for a young person to be bored, depressed or experience emotional problems sometimes due to difficulties at school, in the family or neighborhood. We all pass through difficult times sometimes. The good news is that it will go away. Stay positive. Read, participate in team sports, exercise, art or writing and other gainful activities.

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Establish sexual values

People who behave according to their values feel good about themselves. Values influence decisions of an individual. There are some things that should wait. Sex is one of them. There are benefits in delaying sex until marriage.

Some teens have sex because their friends pressure them. A friend who coerces you to have sex is not a good friend. Do not allow anyone lure, blackmail or intimidate you into having sex or doing what you do not want to do. No sex before marriage is a wise decision.

Premarital Sex has negative effects such as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unwanted pregnancy, teenage parenthood and dropping out of school. Abstinence is the right  choice. It demonstrates a good self-esteem. It prevents getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. This way you don’t miss out on your youthful years.

Do not get involved in a relationship it can be a major distraction. Dress decently and responsibly, avoid kissing and do not allow wrong touching.  Develop good friendships based on respect and consideration for the other person. Be focused. Avoid study distractions. Set good and achievable goals for yourself.

Be a positive role model

Be a positive role model for others. Take responsibility for your actions. Set a good example. Be a person of honesty, integrity and self discipline. Be good at all you do. Value smart work and hard work. Fear God and be prayerful. Learn from failure and celebrate success. Take responsibility for your spending. Practice self control.

Avoid inappropriate content from the social media or music. Make responsible choices. Read, participate in sports playing or as a fan.

Do what is right! If it is bad because others are doing it does not make it right. Do not be afraid to be different.

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Be happy

Stay positive. Use positive self talk. Don’t expect too much. Don’t expect too much attention, too much love or help from others. Stay away from relationships. Don’t make too many friends. Hang out with real friends, not the ones that put you down. Set good goals. Exercise, help others.

Don’t stay out late. When it is getting dark, return home. We need to keep safe these days. Get enough sleep. Confide in your parents.When going through anxiety, worried, confused or have concerns, talk to your parents or other trusted and responsible adult, your school counsellor or you may need to report someone to your teacher.

Be yourself. Be happy with yourself. Love yourself. Stay happy.

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Get to know God

Get to know God for yourself. Develop a personal relationship with God. Build a close relationship with Him. Take all problems to Him in prayer.

 

 

 

 

Positive Parenting : Raising Happy Children

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Children learn more from what you are than what you teach. W.E.B. DuBois

Every parent wants their child to be a joy. Raise your children right. Raise happy and successful children. Raise your children to lead a great life and add value to the world. A parent has the responsibility for good upbringing of their children.

Your parenting style to a large extent influences the future of your children, shapes their behavior, determines how well prepared they realize their full potential and become persons adults they are meant to be. Raise your children right.

 

Love your child unconditionally

Love each child unconditionally. Understand each child as a unique individual. Communicate, listen to, notice your child. Help him her develop his her unique talents and gifts.

Give each child attention even if it is for a few minutes a day. Let your children know through your actions that everyone of them is important to you and you would need to check on each one of them. This will stem sibling rivalry. This will help them love one another. Let them know how lucky they are to have one another.

Meet the specific needs of your child these include physical needs and emotional needs for love and care. When you fail to provide these basic needs you are neglecting him or her. Love your child unconditionally but you do not have to say ‘yes’ to everything your child demands sometimes you cannot afford it and sometimes you should not. Explain to the child when you cannot.

 

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Be a role model for your child

Be an example of the kind of person you want your children to be. Model good values to your children in your speech, behaviour and actions. Never fight before your child. Do not argue or fight with your spouse in the presence of your children. If you do, settle it quickly and make up. Let your children learn that conflict is inevitable but how you manage it is crucial.

Teach your children effective communication. Model courtesy, good speech and forgiveness.This will help you raise a problem solver. Do not yell. Do not rebuke him or her sharply, criticize or put him or her  down. Listen to his or her explanations before disciplining him or her.

Learn to manage your emotions.Treat others well. Do what is right. Teach them kindness. Do not take your problems out on your child. Keep your anger from erupting into violent acts and hurtful words. Do not beat your child or any child in anger. Do not beat him or her in public.

 

Teach your child values

Help your children learn important life lessons. Help them imbibe good morals. Create your own  set of family values and paste it where everyone can see it. Create routine and structure.  Teach your children to cook meals. Teach them to do household chores early and create fun doing this.

Teach them good moral values integrity, honesty, respect, fear of God, contentment, perseverance, hard work, good sexual conduct, no sex before marriage, choosing their friends wisely. Teach them to think before they act, learn from failure, celebrate success, live within boundaries, etc.

Inculcate in your children good manners and self discipline. Teach them to have empathy for others, control their emotions and impulsive behaviour and never hurt anyone. Teach them to be respectful to have respect for others.

 

Discipline positively

Discipline firmly. Let your child know what is expected of him or her. What will not be tolerated and what will be appreciated.

Set boundaries or limits with positive or negative consequences. Be consistent about this to get it established.

Do not exert power or control over your child. Never be overbearing but use your parental authority. Know when to give your child choices, how to support him or her in making decisions and behaving appropriately. Provide guidance but respect your child’s feelings and choices.

As you discipline and set boundaries affirm your child, appreciate his or her uniqueness and peculiarities and fulfil your responsibilities to your child.

 

Acknowledge and encourage your child’s uniqueness

Connect with each child. Appreciate your child’s uniqueness. Encourage your child to talk to you about everything. Let him know he can talk to you about anything that you will listen attentively, calmly, counsel, rebuke with love and understanding, guide and direct.

Communicate openly and listen well to your child. Do not presume anything let him or her feel heard and understood by you. Make use of positive and effective communication in your interactions with your spouse and others this will help your child imbibe good social skills and relate better with you and others.

Let your child talk about how his or her day went. Help your child express himself or herself and take time to listen. Model positive communication. This will help you raise a problem solver and not a confrontational child.

 

Be there for your child

Be there for your child. Be your child’s friend and parent as well. Show interest and participate in activities that are meaningful to him or her. Get to know your child’s friends. Honour school invitations, know the teachers. Be his her number one fan.

When a complaint is made concerning your child listen to his her side before responding. When your child makes a wrong choice disapprove of the misbehavior and help your child handle such situation differently next time.

 

Express your love for your child

 

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Have dinner together. Use it to catch up on the day’s happenings. Make it positive and happy. Allow your child express himself herself, his her feelings and needs. Children these days are facing tremendous challenges due to advancement in technology, social media and all, they are bombarded with all sorts of negative media. Guide your child, build his her self-esteem through communicating your love to him or her.

Play together. Do not be neglectful show positive physical contact, touch, hug, smile and play with your child. Express your affection to your child. Know where your child is and who he or she is with at all times.

 

Teach your child to manage conflict

When your child exhibits challenging behaviors or when he has made wrong choices, evaluate the impact of your parenting style in the life of your child.

Look beyond the rebellious behavior to the causes behind it. Ascertain to what extent you are responsible for what is happening as well as other influences at work.

Communicate with your child. Ask questions to make him express his feelings, needs and concerns. Pay attention to your own attitudes, habits and approach to parenting in terms of discipline, love, guidance and meeting the unique needs of the child. Offer sincere apology and seek forgiveness for genuine shortcomings.

Do not apportion blame but decide on what should be done from now on in your relationship with your child. Do not try to make up for past mistakes by becoming overly permissive but set out in a new direction with your child.

When faced with a difficult or stressful relationship with your child you can seek for help from a counsellor or child psychologist.

 

Teach your child to love God

Help your children know God. Raise your children God’s way. Help them build a relationship with God. Inspire them to love God’s Word. Teach them to pray. Be a praying parent. Pray for your children. The measure of a good parent is praying for your child to be greater than you.