‘The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person’. Julia Child
You are ready to take the leap! You are settled in your job or career and prepared to have a home of your own. Marriage is a serious matter. The choice of who you marry is your responsibility. Choose carefully. This will determine the degree of your happiness or misery in life. You would need to pay attention to the following important considerations. They will help you choose wisely.
There is genuine love. The feelings for each other are real. Do not think of getting married if you have only known each other for a couple of months because if you start living together you may discover surprises that may pose problems to the young marriage. Get to know and understand the person.
She is not desperate telephoning, coming to your house or office, smothering you with attention or doing your chores. The right person would not force herself on a relationship or a man no matter how much she or others admire him. The man should do this.
She does not demand money from the man. Do not marry for the wrong reasons not for money.
Marriage goes beyond shallow considerations. The person loves you for who you are and is willing to be there for you. He respects your body and willing to wait for sex in marriage.
You cannot ascertain his intentions despite his sweet words and actions. You are not a mind reader. Avoid being used and dumped. Let him take you to the altar first.
She is ready to be his helpmeet. Ready to submit to him and complement him. He is ready to love her unconditionally.
Have you checked yourself? Can you marry yourself? Work on yourself to become the right partner. You are willing to accept and respect the other person’s family, culture and traditions. She is loving and ready to be part of the family. His mother is happy she is getting a daughter.
She is empowered has a means of income. Decent, polite and well-mannered. She pays attention to her appearance and ready to improve herself daily.
Check your potential partner very well. Shares your values and beliefs. You are free to fully express and be yourself with this person. He shows you affection, respects you and you enjoy spending time together. Conversation with this person is interesting not boring. You have shared dreams.
He is caring, considerate, possesses the spirit of humility and self-control. He is interested in you and your progress, willing to help you be a better person. He is not abusive, selfish, critical, fights or beats you. He is not given to negative tendencies. She does not feel inferior, frustrated or drained when with him. He is cultured. He is hardworking. When there is a misunderstanding, ready to admit his/her shortcomings, offer sincere explanation and apology.
Love will bring you together but you need trust to help you sustain it. The person should be trustworthy. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and reliability in the relationship. The person does not spy on you, monitor your phone calls or computer usage.
Relationship with God
Is God involved? Allow God choose for you. Do you have a relationship with Him? Seek his guidance to choose right. Let God lead you because whoever your choice is will affect your life forever. The choice of a marriage partner transcends physical conviction alone even with the best decision you cannot see into the future you need divine direction for this important phase of your life. Having observed the potentials in him or her, pray for divine guidance, leading to choose right.
If free of destructive behaviors, does not drink, prudent in spending, does not use drugs or other illicit substances but you do not feel right about it without any logical reasons follow your inner nudge.
Listen to your parent’s strong reasons. Carry your pastor, counselor and parents along in the choice of a spouse. Do not manage a relationship.