‘The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person’. Julia Child
You are ready to take the leap! You are settled in your job or career and prepared to have a home of your own. Marriage is a serious matter. The choice of who you marry is your responsibility. Choose carefully. This will determine the degree of your happiness or misery in life. You would need to pay attention to the following important considerations. They will help you choose wisely.
There is genuine love. The feelings for each other are real. Do not think of getting married if you have only known each other for a couple of months because if you start living together you may discover surprises that may pose problems to the young marriage. Get to know and understand the person.
She is not desperate telephoning, coming to your house or office, smothering you with attention or doing your chores. The right person would not force herself on a relationship or a man no matter how much she or others admire him. The man should do this.
She does not demand money from the man. Do not marry for the wrong reasons not for money.
Marriage goes beyond shallow considerations. The person loves you for who you are and is willing to be there for you. He respects your body and willing to wait for sex in marriage.
You cannot ascertain his intentions despite his sweet words and actions. You are not a mind reader. Avoid being used and dumped. Let him take you to the altar first.
Ready to be his helpmeet. Ready to submit to him and complement him. He is ready to love her unconditionally.
Willing to accept and respect the other person’s culture and traditions. Willing to love his mother and family. A person with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life.
You have worked on yourself. You can marry your person if you were of the opposite sex. You have developed yourself to become the right partner.
She has a means of income, polite, well-mannered and pays attention to her appearance.
Be a good person to attract the person you deserve. Someone who will help you be the best of yourself.
Your potential partner shares your values, standards, principles and beliefs. Possesses the qualities you hold dear and is willing to learn. You are free to fully express and be yourself with this person. He shows you affection, respects you and you enjoy spending time together. Conversation with this person is interesting not boring. You have shared dreams. You look to a life of peace and happiness with this person.
You have set standards for yourself. You are accountable to actions. He is caring, considerate, possesses the spirit of humility and self-control. He is interested in you and your progress, willing to help you be a better person. He is not abusive, selfish, critical, fights or beats you. He is not given to negative tendencies. She does not feel inferior, frustrated or drained when with him. He is cultured. He is hardworking. When there is a misunderstanding, ready to admit his/her shortcomings, offer sincere explanation and apology.
Love will bring you together but you need trust to help you sustain it. The person is trustworthy. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and reliability in the relationship. The person does not spy on you, monitor your phone calls or computer usage.
Relationship with God
The person loves God. You have an intimate relationship with God. Don’t do this without God. Start with God. Let Him be involved. Seek His guidance to choose right. Let God lead you because your choice affects your life forever. The choice of a marriage partner transcends physical conviction alone even with the best decision you cannot see into the future you need divine direction for this critical step of your life. Having observed the potentials in him or her, ask for God’s help to choose right.
If free of destructive behaviors, does not drink, prudent in spending, does not use drugs or other illicit substances but you do not feel right about it without any logical reasons follow your inner nudge.
Listen to your parent’s strong reasons. Carry your pastor, counselor and parents along in the choice of a spouse. Do not manage a relationship.