Definition

Domestic violence is defined as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another”. “It is a pattern of behavior that includes abuse or violence that a spouse uses to control the behavior of the other person”.

It is used by one person in a marriage or relationship to control the other. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence and emotional abuse. Seek for Help.

It is an epidemic affecting individuals regardless of age, economic status or gender. Both men and women can be abused. It is prevalent but most cases go unreported. Many men suffer abuse in silence because of the stigma of the perceived weakness of any man who admits to falling victim of a woman.

In the face of provocation, there is the need for the man to control his emotions and physical actions, the police will arrest the offender who may or may not be the person who initiated the abuse. Seek social support. Seek for Help.

Domestic violence is different from common marital or relationship problems. It is not always determined in the early stages of a marriage or relationship if one person will become abusive. Abusers may seem wonderful and perfect initially gradually becoming more aggressive and controlling. It may begin with verbal abuse, threats, name-calling, distrust, possessiveness, jealousy, suspicion and can build up into other violent acts. It intensifies over time.

WARNING SIGNS:

Warning signs to recognize, prevent or stop domestic violence include:

Belittle and demean you, criticize you, yell at you and put you down

Telling you that you are a bad parent

Take away your child/children

Get angry so easily

Tell you that you can never do anything right

Act one way in front of other people and another when you are alone

Threaten to hurt you

Threaten to hurt or kill your child

Cry so easily to whip up emotions and cover up their tracks

Persistent insults, humiliation, criticisms to destroy the victim’s self-worth.

Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing

Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs

Threaten to destroy you financially

Attempt to coerce you into criminal activity

Accusing the victim of cheating

Threaten to kill you

Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol

Stalking the victim or monitoring the victim’s every move in person or through victim’s phone, internet or other devices and means

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons

Shove you, slap you, choke or hit you

Use of force, kick, stab or shoot the victim

Keep the victim from working or going to school

Makes all the decisions

Forcing sex with others

Prevent you from making your own decisions

Act jealous of your family, friends, co-workers

Read your mail, go through your purse and other personal papers

Interfere with your seeing your family and fiends

Verbal abuse, threatening act or word, berating language

Showing oppressive possessiveness or jealousy

Restricting your spending or controlling your finances

Threatening harm to themselves or others as a way to punish you

Threatening to expose embarrassing personal information to others

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members

Control what you do, who you talk to, where you go

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets

Often drink or use drugs

Insist that you use drugs or alcohol

Take away your sentimental items and those of your children