Family Support Center

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Parent – Adult Child: Resolving Conflict, Restoring Harmony

  Conflict between a parent and their adult child can be a source of deep pain. Estrangement from a child or parent hurts deeply. A good parent-child relationship is beneficial for the health and well-being of both the parent and their child. It can be agonizing for both the parent and child when estranged from the child or when the child withdraws and stays away from the parent because of a misunderstanding. They can resolve the conflict and restore harmony. Nobody is perfect. We all are prone to err. Communicate effectively with your child Talk to your child. Pay attention and listen well to your child. Listen and empathize with your child. Explain your side of the conflict and concerns calmly and clearly. Compromise with your child. Show unconditional love for your child and acceptance. Approach the situation with love.  Initiate change with your child. Initiate contact with your parent. Express your feelings, thoughts and needs. Show humility. Use empathy and effective communication. Listen to their side of the story. Confirm their concerns showing empathy. Be patient and compassionate when your parent opens up about their struggles. Move past blame. No one is perfect and that includes you. If married, do not bring in your spouse and children to avoid the conflict escalating. Have a conversation with your parent. Can you forgive? Focus on the issues not your parent. Look within yourself too. Try to understand. Be prepared to apologize. Consider that your goal is to reconcile and restore the relationship and not determine who was right or wrong. You may have cogent reason but go a step higher because of your children. Hold on to the good things Hold on to the most important things your parent did while growing up. Appreciate the role they played in your upbringing. Remember their important role in your life. Don’t be a prisoner of your past. Free them. Be free of the pain. Remember beautiful childhood experiences with your parent if none, let it go, love and honour them all the same. Show them love and respect.  Honour your parent even if you feel they do not deserve it. It is not easy to honour someone who hurt you so deeply but you do not want to repay evil for evil. Take care of your parent despite all the wrongs.   Do the right thing Sometimes we need radical love. Forgive your parent freely and without limit. Be forgiving and let it go. This is not to excuse the wrongs. You may not understand their struggles. Release any bitterness you have towards them. Have the freedom to let God deal with the offences. Let your parent back into your heart. Move past anger, bitterness and resentment and reconcile find inner peace and healing. Make peace with your parent. Let it go. Obedience to divine instruction Obey Gods commands to honour our parents. There is a caveat that it can be well with you. Avoid the consequences of disobedience and dishonouring God. We enjoy His intervention and avoid God’s wrath when we walk in obedience. When we disobey His instructions, we lose many blessings.   Get Help of a professional if you need to.

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