How Parents Can Manage Behavioural Problems In Adolescents

 

Parent-Child Relationship Problems | LoveToKnow

A parent-child relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of the child. This unique bond helps the child exhibit a positive social behaviour. The healthy involvement of parents in the day-to-day life of their children helps ensure that their children perform better socially and academically.

The qualities of a good parent include constantly expresses love and affection for their children, provides support, sets limits, being a good role model, teaches responsibility, communicates effectively, maintains a good relationship with the other parent.

Conflict Resolution Strategies Parents Should Use

When your child exhibits challenging behaviour or when he/she has made wrong choices, communicate with him/her clearly and calmly. Focus on the problem, talk to your child using effective and assertive communication.

Listen to your child: Put your phone down and make eye contact. Listening to your child is important and try not to downplay your child’s concerns. Keep to boundaries. Do not give in to bad behaviour. Make your child know your concern is for his/her safety and well-being now and in the future.

Determine underlying causes: Listen attentively to determine and address underlying causes. Look beyond the rebellious behaviour to the causes behind it. Ask questions to make him or her express his feelings, needs, concerns to get to the root of the problem. If appropriate give the child a chance to help solve the problem.

Assess your parenting style: Evaluate the impact of your lifestyle and parenting style in the life of your child. Pay attention to your own habits and approach to parenting in terms of discipline, guidance and meeting the unique needs of the child.

Model healthy conflict resolution: Offer sincere apology and seek forgiveness for genuine shortcomings. Do not apportion blame but decide on what should be done from now on in your relationship with your child. Do not try to make up for past mistakes by becoming overly permissive but set out in a new direction with your child.

Seek professional help: Get professional help if you need it.  When faced with a difficult or stressful relationship or behaviour you cannot handle on your own seek independent help. Seek the help of a mediator, counsellor or child psychologist.

Build A Family Support System

Find community-based services for children and families that assist and support parents. Family support services strengthening families with practical and emotional support to help you through difficulties. Seek family therapy programmes, family counselling and family mediation services, effective intervention for the family can help parents develop better parenting practices, communication, problem solving skills and help your child.

Teach Your Child Conflict Resolution Skills

Help your child learn problem solving and conflict resolution skills the child was not taught at home to manage emotions and handle conflicts constructively. Critical skills for positive behavior support that foster behaviour change. Conflict Resolution Education.

 

 

Tips To Prevent Behaviour Problems

Parental supervision. Never leave your child unsupervised especially after school hours when you are at work. Ensure trusted and responsible adult supervision at all times.

Stay alert. Educate your child about the issues of concern due to illegal activities in your area. Teach your child to keep safe.

Set boundaries. Set limits. Have clear and consistent rules. Give consequences. Let them know you care about their safety.

Discipline your child. Let them know they cannot get away with bad conduct and wrongdoing. Remain firm.

Pay attention and listen to your child. Hear them out.

Create structure. Have family routines followed by all family members, sharing tasks and chores, loving one another and responding to one another in gentle and respectful ways.

Educate your child to always do what is right regardless of what may be going on around them.

Get your child involved in activities suited to the personality and skills of the child, sports, music, drama, debate, art and other activities. These can fill unsupervised after school hours or their free time.

Community involvement- boy scouts, girl scouts, church, youth groups provide youth with the opportunity to interact in a safe social environment.

Give your child attention. Get involved in the life of your child. Constantly express your love to your child. Spend time with them. Help them with homework, go to sports, games, movie or watch favourite TV show together.

Have dinner as a family. Learn about their activities and interests. Help your child feel comfortable to talk to you, reach out to you in time of trouble or need.

Exhibit good parental behaviour. Be a good example. Model good behaviour to your child. Good ethical principles and practices at all times in your speech and actions.

When your child exhibits extreme behaviour seek professional help.

Be a praying parent. Pray for your child.

 

Bullying Prevention – Conflict Management Strategies

 

Teenage Friendships | Healthy Families BC

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a serious problem in schools. It is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate someone perceived as vulnerable.

A bully is the person who is habitually cruel, insulting or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller or in some way vulnerable. It is systematically and chronically inflicting physical hurt and/or psychological distress on another. Bullying is a frightening experience many youth face everyday.

It can be as direct as hitting, threatening, destruction of property or forcing someone to do something against their will or as indirect as rumour, exclusion or manipulation. Bullying involves a real or perceived power imbalance between the person who bullies and the target youth who is bullied. The victims suffer depression, anxiety, increased feelings of sadness, loneliness and insecure.

Bullying is a significant problem and antisocial behaviour. The perpetrators have greater physical or social power than their victims and act aggressively towards them by verbal, physical or social means. Bullies tend to share common traits such as aggressive, dominant and slightly lower than average intelligence.

Bullying and its Effects

Bullying can impact the victim on physical, mental or emotional levels. Some of the effects include anxiety, fear, post traumatic stress disorder, lack of self-esteem, gastric issues, relationship issues and addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Bullying leads to problems academically and emotionally in addition to poor attendance and decreased academic performance. It causes feelings of helplessness, anger and frustration, mental, physical and emotional damage to all involved including bystanders. Research has shown the effects last well into adulthood. It occurs most often in areas where there is little or no adult supervision.

Teen bullying: spotting signs & helping | Raising Children Network

Bullying Prevention and Intervention

Conflict resolution education – Teaching conflict resolution skills to youth in schools decreases the incidence of violence, create a safer and more caring environment. Dealing with issues that face institutions, fighting, bullying, harassment and other forms of violence among young people.

Effective conflict management decreases incidents of bullying and violence, creates a constructive environment and helps students interact in peaceful and positive ways.

Bullying Prevention for Educators

Set up Rules

Once teachers and administrators have learned about how and where bullying occurs at their institution, they need to set up rules, enforce them and facilitate discussions that address the problem. Individual bullies and victims should receive independent counseling and create a safer less hostile environment for students.

Teach Kindness and Empathy

It is important to teach kindness, empathy and assertiveness to students. Teach children to be kind to others. Create opportunities for connection that foster a sense of community in the classroom. Identify gateway behaviour and prevent bullying behaviour such as name calling, stalking, ignoring or excluding, prolonged staring, laughing cruelly/encouraging others to laugh, causing physical harm to mitigate the likelihood of them growing into something more problematic.

Look out for Warning Signs

Looking out for warning signs for prevention, early intervention and reporting. Have a clear definition of bullying. Remove labels and address behaviour to ensure the person who is doing the bullying knows what behaviour is wrong, why it is wrong and what the consequences are for engaging in the behaviour. If the behaviour keeps occurring the parents will need to be involved.

Reinforce Good Behaviour

Set clear and enforceable rules and expectations. Age appropriate rules allow young people know what behaviour is expected. Be consistent in enforcing the rules. Reward positive behaviour. Reinforce good behaviour and it will give them clear expectations of what you want in a positive way. That way they will be more likely to engage in the positive behaviour again. Have open communication with the students, talk to them about their individual problems including bullying.

Parental Involvement

When parents are involved and work together with teachers, the biggest difference can be achieved. Cooperate with the school to implement corrective actions and deterrent measures.

Parents should instil healthy habits in their children. Instil anti bullying mindset in your child. This includes learning that being critical, judgmental, making hurtful jokes and spreading rumors are unhealthy and constitute bullying. Teach your child kindness. Teach your child early about responsible online behaviour. Be sure your child knows the best way to prevent bullying is to report it.

Helping Your Child Deal with Bullies

Provide your child tools for dealing with bullying such as walking away, telling the bully in a firm and confident voice to stop, ignore the bully, demonstrate that it does not bother them if other people point out their flaws demonstrating self confidence.

Teach your child to avoid places where bullies hang, stick with friends not socially isolated, know how to escape the situation, leave the place, if the bully is physical make a lot of noise to attract attention, know how to defuse the situation and get to safety.

Teach your child to speak up and report the bully to an adult. Wade in if your child is victim. Involve yourself firmly even without being asked until the safety and health of your child is assured.

 

 

Teaching Conflict Resolution To Youth In Schools

 

Teenagers: Reading 1: Reading in class | Article | Onestopenglish

Teaching conflict resolution skills to secondary school students in Nigeria will help them resolve disputes and disagreements in a peaceful way, reduce incidents of violence and build healthy relationships.

The inability to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence is symptomatic to a young person’s inability to handle confrontation. It is important to be aware of the potential for conflicts and be able to identify a conflict situation and deal with it calmly and constructively.

Managing Conflict

Resolving conflict situations in constructive ways. Knowledge of conflict resolution enables you in a conflict situation to listen, remain calm, be respectful and treat the other person the way you want to be treated. It helps you to be specific about what is bothering you or what you need without attacking the other person, no name calling, yelling, hitting, accusing or threatening the other person.

You learn to avoid exaggerations, stick with the facts and express your honest feelings. Stay in the present and not bring up other problems you have had in the past. You avoid clamming up because positive results can only be attained with two-way communication.

Course Outline

What is Conflict?

Conflict is part of life we cannot hide from it, we cannot wish it away or pretend that it is not happening. It occurs in families, friendships, schools, workplace, neighborhoods and the society in general.

It occurs when two or more people interact either as individuals or as part of a group. There is always potential for conflict in interactions.

Conflict can be defined as a serious disagreement, argument or tension. A clash between individuals who perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. A clash of interest. An extended struggle, battle, fight or to disagree with someone over opposite opinions.

Causes of Conflicts

Causes of conflicts between students include disagreement between individuals or groups regarding ideas, interests, principles or values, limited resources, communication problems, rivalry between groups, a youth who is impolite to others (such as competing with fellow young people or insulting opinions of others), rude, mean, teasing, jealousy, physical aggression and bullying.

Conflict Management Styles

Students learn that conflict is a natural part of life and that it can be resolved peacefully. They develop awareness of their own unique responses to conflict. The five conflict styles are avoiding (avoiding or withdrawing from a conflict), accommodating (giving in), competing (standing your ground), compromising ( both parties look for common ground when two sides give up some demands meet somewhere in the middle), collaborating. (The Thomas – Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument) (TKI).

They learn that using inappropriate conflict styles can create more problems. It is not healthy to suppress emotions or feelings like anger, frustration and leaving conflicts unresolved. Collaborating is a combination of being assertive and cooperative. Those working together with others to identify a solution that satisfies everyone’s concerns.

Managing Emotions

You get to learn to manage anger and your behaviour. You can communicate your needs without threatening, frightening or punishing others. Anger management is important to being able to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. If you are too angry or upset, stop and think of a different way you can handle the situation and meet your needs and those of the other people involved. You can be positive and address issues in a non hostile way.

You can identify and name your emotions in order to regulate them and not escalate the conflict. Rather than acting instinctively on your emotions act in a constructive way. Naming your emotions, angry, enraged, frustrated, sad, hopeless, empty, shocked, depressed, ashamed, worried, confused, guilty, lonely, jealous, nervous,

Underlying Needs

You come to understand that underlying needs drive the behaviour that worries or challenges us. In many cases, challenging behaviour is the symptom of unmet needs. Something hidden but shapes our responses or reactions.

Using ‘I’- Statements

Using effective needs statements will empower and energize people to see a situation and behaviour in new imaginative ways. Use “I” – statements to let others know what you need in a conflict situation. Use “I” – statements instead of “you” – statements. ‘I feel hurt when. .’ instead of ‘you caused me to’. Don’t generalize and avoid words like ‘never,’ ‘always’ for positive outcomes.

Bringing your children

Active Listening

This is really listening to the other person and try to see the problem from their perspective. Listening without interrupting. It is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Examples of active listening skills include demonstrating concern,  paraphrasing to show understanding, using nonverbal cues which show understanding such as nodding, eye contact and leaning forward. Brief verbal affirmations like ‘l see’ ‘l know’ ‘sure’ ‘Thank you’ or ‘ l understand’.

5 Ways To Manage Your Own Conflicts

1. Calm down. When angry or upset. Cool off, cool down. Focus on the problem not on the personalities. This will enable you appraise the situation objectively and deal with it constructively. 2. Listen carefully. Listen well to understand the perspectives and needs of the other person. 3. Talk about it. Address the real issue. Ask what is the real source of the conflict and deal with it directly.

Take responsibility for your role in the conflict. Think about settling the issues not about winning. Use respectful but assertive l statements. ( I feel hurt when…). Ask non defensive questions to clarify issues. 4. Brainstorm solutions. Search for options together to solve the problem. Choose a solution acceptable to all involved. 5. Learn from it. Think of what you could have done differently and how you will handle the situation in future.

Conflict Resolution Activities 

Peer Mediation

Learning to mediate between others. Peer mediation programmes help youth resolve disputes including conflict that has turned violent. Trained mediators work with their peers to resolve the dispute they cannot resolve themselves. This reinforces cooperative behaviour and teaches effective communication.

Role Playing

Role-play helps youth learn empathy and social skills like cooperation, self-control, teamwork and understanding of different perspectives. Learning also through games, books and creative writing.

 

 

 

Teaching Conflict Resolution To Juvenile Delinquents

Mediation & Conflict Resolution Masters (LLM) | University of Strathclyde

Teaching conflict resolution skills in juvenile facilities in Nigeria with the focus of instilling problem solving and social-emotional skills to youth and improve their mental health. Delinquency and violence are symptoms of the inability to handle confrontation constructively.

Conflict Management Skills For Correctional Officers

Conflict resolution skills training for correctional officers who come in contact with young offenders and charged with managing the behaviour of youth in juvenile detention centers is critical. Education in conflict resolution for juvenile correctional officers will help inmates learn alternatives to violent and self defeating behaviour.

This is beneficial for social and emotional support and development of juveniles in custodial institutions. Training officers in conflict resolution skills will help change the institutional handling of conflict from a punitive focus to one that uses problem solving methods to supplement existing disciplinary policies and procedures.

Corrections Course Description

Teaching youth to effectively manage conflict and reduce violence.

Teaching them positive expression and problem solving skills to become behaviour of choice in pressured and stressful situations.

Providing bullying prevention and life skills training they were not taught at home.

Anger management techniques, effective communication and positive ways to manage whatever individual issues they are dealing with.

Teaching problem solving and social-emotional skills to build positive relationships, have a sense of right and wrong, reduce incidents of disruptive and violent behaviours.

Learning to manage and resolve disputes and disagreements peacefully and create more peaceful facilities and environment.

Skills to help increase self-esteem, self-respect and self-control.

The Need For Conflict Coaching

Conflict coaching for individuals. One-to-one support to help individual child develop the skill at handling conflict or support the child work through a difficult conflict situation.

This early intervention strategy helps build the skills needed to effectively manage conflict. It enables the child improve the way they interact with peers, family and friends.

Conflict Management Styles

Through this they develop awareness of their own unique responses to conflict. The five conflict styles are avoiding (avoiding or withdrawing from a conflict), accommodating (giving in), competing (standing your ground), compromising (both parties look for common ground when two sides give up some demands to meet somewhere in the middle), collaborating (The Thomas – Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument) (TKI).

They learn that conflict is a natural part of life and that it can be resolved peacefully.  You cannot get rid of or avoid the things or the people that enrage you nor can you change them but you can learn to control your reactions.

They learn that using inappropriate conflict styles can create more issues. It is not healthy to bottle up feelings like anger, frustration and leaving conflicts unresolved.

Collaborating is a combination of being assertive and cooperative. Those working together with others to identify a solution that satisfies everyone’s concerns.

Community activities for teenagers | Raising Children Network

Decreasing Incidents Of Violence

Teaching them skills to decrease incidents of violence. Conflict resolution skills to decrease incidents of violence, bullying and harassment. Youth learn to behave and treat others better and create a safer environment.

Custody Mediation: Best Interest of the Child Paramount

 

Family mediation Images, Royalty-free Stock Family mediation Photos & Pictures | Depositphotos

Parenting after Separation

Child custody mediation is a process whereby parents work together to develop an agreement for parenting their children after separation with the help of a neutral third party. It is a faster and cost-effective way to resolve a custody case.

According to an African adage, ‘when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers’. Meaning, when the large fight, it is the small who suffer or the weak get hurt in conflicts between the powerful. When parents argue or fight, it is the children that suffer the most.

Custody mediation enables divorcing or separating parents negotiate about future parenting arrangements for their children without the need to go to court.

Parenting Arrangements

The process helps them settle disputes involving child custody arrangements and reach an agreement focused on promoting the best interests of their children who are experiencing significant change brought about by the separation of their parents.

Parents are assisted to negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement that enables them develop their own parenting plan. Such that both parents will be involved in the lives of their children doing what is best for themselves and their children.

The parties determine the custody arrangements of which the most common are sole custody, joint custody, physical custody and legal custody and work out the custody and visitation schedules for their family. The mediator cannot impose a decision on them but help them cooperate to raise their children even though they are separated and no longer live together.

The Benefits of Family Mediation

Mediation works contrary to the adversarial system which increases trauma and escalates conflict detriment to the best interests of the children. The mediator works with both parents separately if they do not want to be in the same room together.

It is not estrangement or divorce in itself that inflicts psychological damage on children it is how it is handled. Parents can continue to love their children. They can continue to be actively involved in the lives of their children and cooperate to promote their well-being after separation.