Parent – Adult Child: Resolving Conflict, Restoring Harmony

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Conflict between a parent and their grown up child can cause tension in the family and affect everyone else adversely. Good parent child relationship is crucial for the emotional health of both parent and child.

It is agonizing for both parent and child in conflict when a parent is estranged from their child or when a child withdraws and stays away from their parent because of a misunderstanding. Conflict is inevitable but can be managed in a healthy way.

Talk about it 

Parents should learn to talk and listen to their children. Listen to your child. Listen and empathize. Explain your side of the conflict calmly and clearly compromising with your child. Show unconditional love and acceptance.

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Resolving conflict with your parent

Raise the issues with your parent using empathy and good communication. Show love, respect and compassion.

Make the move

Make the move. Reach out to your parent. Give them a call, send messages, send them gifts. If married, do not bring in your spouse and children to avoid the conflict escalating. Deal with it positively.


Find it in your heart to forgive and reconcile with your dad or mom. This is not to excuse the bad things they did. You may not know why they did it or what is responsible for their actions and words, whatever the reason may be, release feelings of resentment and anger to find inner peace and healing.

Applying wisdom 

Honour the parent God gave to you. We are admonished by the word of God to honour our parents. This abounds in the Scripture. There is a caveat that it can be well with you. The word of God is settled and unchanging. It is wise to be obedient or suffer the repercussions.

Be obedient 

Divine instructions to honour our mother and father are not qualified. Your parent may be difficult, impossible, mean, abusive or toxic. You suffered rejection, neglected, abused or abandoned, simply obey God. We are enjoined to honour our parents regardless of what transpired so that we can enjoy God’s intervention and avoid His wrath.

Learn to cope

Learn healthy ways to cope. Hold on to good things. Hold on to the most important things that your parent did. Let them back into your heart. Appreciate the role they played in your life. You have everything to gain including God’s blessings when you love, respect and care for your parent. Have a relationship with God and your environment will change.