Positive Parenting: Raising Happy Children


The challenges of positive parenting - BBC Worklife

A parent has the responsibility for good upbringing of their children. The parenting style to a large extent influences the future of a child, shapes his/her behavior and determines how well prepared the child is to realize his/her full potential and become the best persons and adults they are meant to be.

Love your children unconditionally

Understand and appreciate the children you have. Listen to and notice your children. Meet the specific needs of your children these include physical needs and emotional needs for love, warmth and care. When you fail to provide these basic needs you are neglecting your children.

Love your children unconditionally but you do not have to say ‘yes’ to everything they demand sometimes you cannot afford it and sometimes you should not. Explain to the child when you cannot.

What is positive parenting and why does it matter?

Be a good role model for your children

Be an example of the kind of person you want your children to be. Model good values to your children, self control, respect and listening, positive attitude and right relationships.

Do not argue or fight with your spouse in the presence of your children. If you do, settle it quickly and make up. Let your children learn that conflict is inevitable but how you manage it is crucial. This will help you raise a good problem solver.

Teach your children values

Establish routines and structure. Teach your children to do household chores early and create fun doing this. Create your own set of family values and paste it where everyone can see it.

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According to studies it is believed that a child’s personality is developed before age six. Teach values early. Teach your children moral values that will help shape their lives and future.

Values of honesty and integrity, respect, kindness, hardwork, accountability and determination. Teach your children the value of chastity.

Bring up your children to be the best of themselves. Raise each child to be a well-rounded person. Inculcate in your children morals moulding them to do what is right.

Teach your child to behave well

It is important to discipline your child. When your child behaves badly, discipline him or her. Correct the child firmly. Set limits. Have clear and consistent rules your child should follow and give consequences. Let your child know what is expected of them, what will not be tolerated and what will be appreciated. Be consistent about this to get it established.

As you discipline and set limits affirm your child, appreciate his or her uniqueness and fulfill your responsibilities to your child.

Discipline your child the  healthy way

Communicate effectively with your child. Use positive language that can lead to a change. Do not yell at your child. Do not rebuke your child sharply, criticize or put him/her down. Learn to manage your emotions. Listen to his explanation before disciplining. Hear him out before you discipline.

Discuss problems calmly and firmly. Do not take your problems out on the child. Do not allow violent acts or hurtful words. Never hit your child or any other child in anger. Do not hit your child in public.

Do not exert power or control over your child. Never be overbearing but use your parental authority. You will know when to give your child choices, how to support him or her in making decisions and behaving appropriately.

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Believe each child is unique and special

Connect with each child. Connect with each child to correct and train the child. Let your child talk about how his day was and take time to listen. Acknowledge and appreciate each child’s uniqueness.

Encourage your child to talk to you about everything. Let him know he can talk to you about anything that you will listen attentively, calmly, counsel, rebuke with love and understanding, guide and direct. Do not presume anything let him or her feel heard and understood by you.

Be there for your children

Be there for your children. Never leave your child unsupervised especially after school hours. Show interest and participate in activities that are meaningful to them. Get to know your child’s friends. Honour school invitations, know the teachers. Be his her number one fan.

When a complaint is made concerning your child listen to his her side before responding. When your child makes a wrong choice disapprove of the misbehavior and help your child handle such situation differently in future.

Express love for your children

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Create ways to spend quality time with your child. Show your child you love him her. Have dinner together. Use it to catch up on the day’s happenings. Make it positive and happy. Allow your child express himself herself, his her feelings and needs.

Children these days are facing tremendous pressure due to the social media. They are bombarded with all sorts of negative media. Guide your child, build his her self-esteem through communicating your love to him or her.

Play with your child. Show positive physical contact, touch, hug, express your affection for your child. Know where your child is and who he or she is with at all times.

Teach your children to love God

Help your children know God. Raise them God’s way. Help them develop personal relationships with God. Pray for your children. Take everything to God in prayer.