Marital Conflict Management Skills for Men and Women

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Marriage is sweet but has its ups and downs. This is inevitable. You can minimize the lows. You can make your marriage a happy one if you learn to effectively deal with your partner’s flaws, annoying habits, understand your partner’s emotions and resolve disagreements in a healthy way. The following tools will help you handle differences in a positive way, keep your marriage strong and healthy.


Effective communication – Be thoughtful of the language you use. Avoid negative words and keep the language you use positive. There is nothing that cannot be accomplished with effective communication.

Be mindful of your tone and your non verbal cues. It is not just what you say it is how you say it. Your tone of voice, gestures, eye contact and touch can communicate what you mean and want more powerfully than your words. Be careful never be sarcastic in any way. Be patient and kind.

Effective communication is the key in marriage. When both partners can openly express their thoughts, the other listens attentively and tries to understand what their partner says with empathy. Being open to honest communication. Taking a non judgmental view of your partner’s emotions and communicate. Avoiding assumptions. Using gentle tone of voice and body language.

Actively listening – being attentive. listening attentively to what the other person has to say. Giving full attention to the other person. Listening and responding in a way that improves mutual understanding. Shun negative non verbal cues or gestures. Calming yourselves.


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Patience – face challenges with patience and understanding.  Listen to understand the needs of your spouse in a supportive and empathetic way. Listen to identify emotions and place value on what they are saying. Understand their perspectives, feelings and needs maintaining eye contact.

Emotion regulation. Mutual respect is crucial. Exert control over your emotional state. Exercise greater self-control. Manage your emotions. Control your thoughts and actions. Express your feelings calmly. Say exactly how you feel. Identify your emotions, the trigger, and communicate these clearly and calmly to your wife.

Practice Empathy – be more empathetic. Step into your partner’s shoes. Share their feelings and emotions. Feel what they are going through without blaming, judgmental, critical or being harsh. Get to understand their needs from their perspective. Respect differences.

Positivity  – resolve issues in a kind, respectful and healthy way. Respect your partner’s needs. Understand their needs or ask to know their needs and search for a solution together. Agree to disagree. Disagree in a kind way. Provide love, reassurance, acceptance and encouragement. Touch each other. Compliment your spouse.


Conflict Management and Resolution Tips:

Respect and love your spouse. Stop what you are doing and look at them when they talk. Submit to your husband. Love your wife unconditionally.

Appreciate your spouse for the hard work they do. Does not matter if you are the at-home parent or the parent who leaves the house to work. Express your appreciation for everything including the little things they do. For being a wonderful father or mother. Appreciate their contributions to the family. Tell them thank you.

Don’t take your spouse for granted. Do a little nice thing for your spouse every single day. Say nice things to him or her when it comes to mind. Admire your spouse. Appreciate your spouse. Ask about their day. Make him happy.

Be a good listener. Listen lovingly. Ask the right questions, use loving gestures and body language. Put the phones down, hug, touch, hold hands.

Appreciate her. Deal with your wife with understanding. Compliment her looks. Use compliments to make her feel loved.

Love your mother in-law. Mom and dad.

Love your in-laws. If you are experiencing overbearing In-law behaviour, have a conversation with your husband. He will know how to handle it.

When you feel unhappy, have unmet expectations or dissatisfied, have a discussion. Talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Ask how you can improve as a spouse. What you can do to improve your marriage.

Be each other’s best friend and a good team. Do things together because you are one. Cooperate with your spouse. Look out for each other’s well-being. Look out for their best interest. Help each other fulfil your dreams and purpose. Help your spouse be the best version of themselves.

Work on yourself. Work on self-improvement. Identify and overcome any weakness. Be a better person.

Understand your spouse. Ask to know your partner’s needs. Ask what they  need from you. Cooperate to find solutions to issues in your marriage. Work together to resolve it.

Communicate freely with each other. Be open with each other. You can discuss everything with your spouse without blaming, judgmental or critical. You will listen and help out. Love and encourage your spouse. Knowing your love, compassion, care, respect and support is their strength. True love is unconditional. True love is sacrifice.

Teach him how to love you showing character traits of a good woman. Improve yourself. Become a better person. Dress up especially for him. Appreciate him for what he does for you. Welcome him home after work in a way that makes him happy, wants to come home and helps him get over stress of the workplace and traffic congestion.

Learn to pray together as a couple. Keep it short. Take turns. Make a list of things you both agree to pray for each other and each of your children.

Stop fighting about household chores. Don’t go with the crowd or public opinion. Your family is different and unique. Have a discussion. Discuss the issues calmly and respectfully. You will arrive at what works for your own family and unique situation.

If this is becoming a problem and you both can’t handle issues on your own, seek help before it escalates and leads to a crisis. See a counsellor, mediator. Seek help.

Don’t bully your spouse. Don’t provoke your spouse. Avoid speaking in anger. Control your emotions. Watch your words. Domestic violence is a build up of bad behaviour and unresolved issues leading to resentment which eventually gets out of control. Work on your issues early.

Don’t overlook or continue to endure bad behaviour that portends potential danger or fatality such as if egocentric, narcissistic or abusive emotionally, psychologically, physical or verbally. Speak up. Cry out. Speak with a counsellor, mediator or psychologist.

Seek refuge to protect yourself and children. Don’t endure abuse. Leave. Keep yourself safe while intervention is ongoing. Seek help.