The Conflict Management Toolkit for Families

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1. Develop a personal relationship with God. Have an intimate relationship with God.

2. Let God drive your life and relationships.

3. Good communication is key. Build your relationships on respect and openness .

4. Take the feelings of your spouse into account before doing anything.

5. Express feelings, concerns and expectations calmly.

6. Make your spouse your priority.

7. Unite to solve your problems with respect.  Don’t assume the worst. There are many possible reasons for his or her behaviour. Be honest, open come up with solutions together. Promote a common ground. View

8. Encourage dialogue. Allow him complete his sentence before replying. Stay on the subject. Take responsibility for your own responses.

9.Accept responsibility for your own role in the disagreement. Initiate contact.

10. Be willing to forgive.

11. Be trustworthy. Trust each other. Avoid suspicion.

12. Help him become the leader of your family.

13. Be a good listener.

14. Understand, know each other.

15. Respect, encourage, admire, accept him.

16. Appreciate him for taking the lead. Appreciate his initiatives.

17. Be her best friend.

18. Give her attention, love and care. Tell her you love her.

19. Offer your advice and help if he asks for it.

20. He has a good sense of humour.

21. Turn your fights into good ones.

22.Figure out the real problem, concerns, needs.

23. Support him in providing for the family. Discuss. Let there be openness. Let there be agreement.

24. Shun ego, assumption, defensiveness, impatience.

25. In making decisions make use of her opinions, insights and suggestions.

26. Meet his emotional needs.

27. Understand the other person’s point of view.

28. Be hard working with direction.

29. Encourage your partner’s dreams and goals.

30. Be happy with each other’s successes and achievements. Be there for each other when things go right.

31. Give unconditional love to your wife. Appreciate those things she does.

32. Love your mother-in-law. Make her love you.

33. Get along with the family.

34. Share his interests.

35. Let go of wanting to be right. A third position may exist.

36. Honour your parents.

37. Take your children on visits to their grandparents. Help them stay connected with their grandparents.

38. Be aware and respectful of each other’s differences. Manage these differences.

39. Look good for him.

40. Keep each other informed of happenings at end of each day. Do not condemn or judgmental. Support each other get over difficult situations.

41. Make financial decisions together. Ensure financial intimacy. Be financially responsible.

42. Don’t think it is greener on the other side.

43. Stay positive. View your spouse in a positive light.

44. Admit when wrong and apologize. Do not take it personally.

45. Protect your partner. Portray your spouse in good light to your family.

46. Watch how your attitude and actions impact on your spouse. Figure out what the other person is feeling.

47. Spend more time together.

48. Organize, take care of your home.

49. Treat your spouse better than you treat anyone else.

50. Paint the big picture.

51. Ensure physical intimacy.

52. Many people have worse problems but prefer to  work it out.

53. Not who is right but what is right.

54. Change yourself to change your spouse.

55. Don’t cheat on her. Be faithful.


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With the Children

The father, his children’s hero.

Model good behaviour for your children. Teach your children morals and right values.

Teach them by example. Provide good example for your children and every member of your household.

Raise your children to know God.

The mother, there for every member of her household.

A mother, helping her family do what is right,

kind, insightful, observant, watchful

A praying wife and mother.