Child Maintenance : Investing in Your Children’s Future


Progress in fight against child poverty could be wiped out by Covid, says report | Global development | The Guardian

If you are separated or came out of an abusive marriage and struggling to raise your children alone without support from the other parent, you can seek help to collect child maintenance from the other parent. This is paid by the non residential parent (usually the father) to the parent with day to day care of the children.

Parents are legally responsible for the costs of raising their children even if you don’t see them and agreement about access to the children happens separately. You need to have child maintenance arrangements for children under 21 or more if in approved education or training. If you make a private arrangement you can continue after then.

Private Child Maintenance Arrangement

You can arrange child maintenance yourselves. You can make these arrangements yourselves to support the children financially. You can agree between yourselves how much maintenance should be paid, how and when it should be made. If you are finding it difficult to come to an agreement you can seek the help of a family mediator. You both have to be willing to go to mediation.

Get Help to Make an Arrangement

A professional mediator who acts as a neutral third party facilitates discussion to help you make an arrangement or work out an agreement on child maintenance payments.

If you cannot agree or the private arrangement breaks down, you can get a mediator to help you resolve the problems. The mediator helps you reach an agreement about child maintenance arrangement and helps you record your agreement. Free Mediation and Legal Support.

Getting Payments without Sharing Your Location

You can seek help and support from appropriate state agencies if you feel at risk talking to the other parent. A private agreement would involve agreeing on amount with the other parent and being in contact. If you do not want to be in contact because you do not feel it is safe you need not talk to the other parent or tell the other parent your location.

You do not need to make contact with your child’s other parent to arrange child maintenance if you’ve experienced violence. You can seek help to collect payments from the other parent.

The family social offices  can help you work out how much maintenance needs to be paid, take action if a parent doesn’t pay the agreed amount and review the payments if your circumstances change.




Marital Conflict Resolution Tips for Men

Conflict Resolution in Marriage ( with printable worksheet) | CMP

People who are skilled in managing their emotions in an empathetic way tend to effectively manage conflict and succeed in marriage. They have learnt to consider the feelings of the other person. They discuss issues in a courteous way, understand, honour and respect each other. They listen and express admiration for each other leading to feelings of closeness, intimacy and happiness.

You create a relationship where you are free to express your feelings and emotions without blame, criticism or judgment from the other person. On your own part, you have learnt to name your feelings, saying exactly how you feel. You identify what triggers these feelings, find the right word to describe it and communicate this calmly and clearly to your wife.

The result is that you are able to make your wife listen and you both discuss and find solutions to resolve the conflict. Building a marriage where there is emotional support, encouragement especially in times of stress or sadness. You have achieved this because of the ability to listen to your wife. Listening in an empathetic way. Listening when she wants to communicate and placing value on what she says. Understanding and allowing her perspective, feelings and needs in your decision making process as a couple.

You can manage conflict in a healthy and respectful way. Letting go of the need to be right or win an argument rather, ask for her needs and search for a solution together. Don’t belittle her, raise your voice or curse. Listen more. Creatively find new ways to love your wife. Show your love to her. Surprise her with nice words. Be her friend. Being confident in your role as the husband. If there are problems you cannot handle on your own, consider using the following process. Read More

Conflict Management Skills for Women

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Conflict management skills are worth honing to rebuild and strengthen important relationships. Management strategies to manage and resolve conflicts better improving relationships. Unresolved anger and conflicts can damage relationships but when properly handled, brings couples closer and helps them avoid greater issues such as resentment, domestic violence and divorce.

There are powerful skills that foster healthy conflict resolution including effective communication, empathy e active listening. Good communication is key to defuse anger and escalating arguments. Good, positive communication helps you control your temper and emotions, get to the root of the problem instead of struggling with the symptoms.

Poor communication always results in misunderstandings and eventually conflicts such as assumptions. Don’t assume, be careful about your tone of voice and learn to listen carefully. Speak calmly using positive non verbal clues. Understand, respect and honour your partner. Make use of respectful conversation that enables  everyone gets the same picture to resolve the situation.


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Listen carefully for better understanding. Speak appropriately while maintaining good eye contact. Present your ideas adapting your language to him with consideration and clarity. Talking to him frankly when you need it.

Learning to be more empathetic as a partner. Putting yourself in his place. Putting yourself in his shoes and feeling what he is feeling. This way, you are able to better understand and share his feelings, what he is thinking and feeling. Communicate about his emotions and feelings without blaming, criticism or judging him. Consider and understand his condition and needs from his perspective caring about his well-being the way you care about your own.

Be comfortable and confident in your role and unique relationship. Look forward, not backward. Appreciate him for the little things he does and say thank you. Think happy thoughts. Act positive. Practice honesty. Watch your words. Practice humility. Be attractive to him, touch, hug and be tender with him outside of bedroom. Give him a hug and kiss when he comes home. Foster positive relationships in life, respecting yourself and others.

Teaching Children and Young People Conflict Resolution

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Conflict management education is beneficial for children in their relationships. It helps them relate better. They learn to manage emotions, become problem solvers and maintain good relationships. It decreases the incidents of violence.

Teaching children conflict management skills is beneficial to society as a whole.  It can help reduce fighting, bullying, harassment and other forms of violence among students and in the society. They learn the skill set and concepts for understanding how to prevent, manage and resolve conflicts, competing needs and interests without resorting to violence.

They learn to talk through their differences focusing on the problem not on the personalities and come up with a resolution together. Control their emotions, respect others and appreciate individual differences. It empowers them to be responsible, disciplined and to build leadership qualities. Gaining the ability to be able to influence their parents and siblings. They carry these into their adult lives, workplace and personal relationships.

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Incorporating conflict resolution education in the curriculum will facilitate children solve problems peacefully and resolve conflicts independently even as adults. They learn to think before reacting because the tendency in a conflict situation is to react immediately. They learn to listen actively, manage emotional expressions and de-escalate potentially explosive situations without violence.

Students are empowered with the skills to resolve differences peacefully using positive behaviour that they have not been able to learn at home. These skills can be developed through conflict resolution activities that can be fun such as role play, games, books that teach conflict resolution, creative writing, mediation role plays and conflict coaching.

Teens, Let’s Talk about Stuff that Matters

Choose your friends wisely

It is said that you go as the friends you keep. Choose your friends wisely. Choose the right friends. Avoid those who give you bad advice, make you do what you do not want to do or what is not right. This is peer pressure. Avoid negative influences. Learn to say ‘No’ and mean it.

Make friends with those who share your values. Associate with good and responsible people. Associate with those who make positive influence on you. A person who stops being your friend was never a friend.

Some teenagers give in to negative peer pressure because they want to be liked, they do not want to be made fun of or due to curiosity. Walk away from situations and people that will make you compromise your standards and convictions.

Teenagers who know what they want and are not afraid to say ‘no’ to negative peer pressure attract the respect and admiration of others.

Respect others

Respect yourself and others. Have empathy for others. Nobody has the right to hurt anyone. Everyone needs to be respected. Build self  respect and respect for others. Don’t touch another person inappropriately. Develop self discipline. Become a disciplined person.

Don’t exert control and power over others. Do not be a bully. Don’t bully others. People who do this lack good self-esteem and do this to seek attention.

Avoid those who coerce, tease, intimidate or threaten others. They are bullies. Ignore them. They act to gain attention. They usually end up in trouble. A bully is the one with a problem not you. The good news is that they can change their behaviour. They can learn to respect others and build good relationships. Well-behaved teenagers earn the respect of their peers.

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Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your well-being. Take responsibility for your health. Take responsibility for your life. Be health and safety conscious. Protect yourself from substances that can harm your body and mind. Stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarette. Avoid people who use them and pressure others to do the same. Participate in those things that promote your health, safety and well-being.

Some young people get introduced to drugs, alcohol and smoking by their friends. They experiment with these substances because they want to be accepted but become addicted.

Some in search of relief when going through emotional pain try these illicit substances and instead of finding relief become addicted. They rely on smoking or drinking to make their hurt go away temporarily but these are wrong options.

It is normal for a young person to be bored, depressed or experience emotional problems sometimes due to difficulties at school, in the family or neighborhood. We all pass through difficult times sometimes. The good news is that it will go away. Stay positive. Read, participate in team sports, exercise, art or writing and other gainful activities.

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Establish sexual values

People who behave according to their values feel good about themselves. Values influence decisions of an individual. There are some things that should wait. Sex is one of them. There are benefits in delaying sex until marriage.

Some teens have sex because their friends pressure them. A friend who coerces you to have sex is not a good friend. Do not allow anyone lure, blackmail or intimidate you into having sex or doing what you do not want to do. No sex before marriage is a wise decision.

Premarital Sex has negative effects such as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unwanted pregnancy, teenage parenthood and dropping out of school. Abstinence is the right  choice. It demonstrates a good self-esteem. It prevents getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. This way you don’t miss out on your youthful years.

Do not get involved in a relationship it can be a major distraction. Dress decently and responsibly, avoid kissing and do not allow wrong touching.  Develop good friendships based on respect and consideration for the other person. Be focused. Avoid study distractions. Set good and achievable goals for yourself.

Be a positive role model

Be a positive role model for others. Take responsibility for your actions. Set a good example. Be a person of honesty, integrity and self discipline. Be good at all you do. Value smart work and hard work. Fear God and be prayerful. Learn from failure and celebrate success. Take responsibility for your spending. Practice self control.

Avoid inappropriate content from the social media or music. Make responsible choices. Read, participate in sports playing or as a fan.

Do what is right! If it is bad because others are doing it does not make it right. Do not be afraid to be different.

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Be happy

Stay positive. Use positive self talk. Don’t expect too much. Don’t expect too much attention, too much love or help from others. Stay away from relationships. Don’t make too many friends. Hang out with real friends, not the ones that put you down. Set good goals. Exercise, help others.

Don’t stay out late. When it is getting dark, return home. We need to keep safe these days. Get enough sleep. Confide in your parents.When going through anxiety, worried, confused or have concerns, talk to your parents or other trusted and responsible adult, your school counsellor or you may need to report someone to your teacher.

Be yourself. Be happy with yourself. Love yourself. Stay happy.

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Get to know God

Get to know God for yourself. Develop a personal relationship with God. Build a close relationship with Him. Take all problems to Him in prayer.