Family Support Center

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Healthy Conflict Management in Marriage

  Respect and love your spouse. Better understand your spouse. Submit to your husband. Love your wife unconditionally. Treat her with love and care. Treat her well.   Communicate clearly and often. Communicate freely with each other. Share your feelings. Be open with each other.  Be a good listener. Put the phones down. Stop what you are doing and look at your spouse when they talk.  Give full attention to your spouse.   Express your love for your spouse. Tell your spouse each time it comes to mind that you are thankful for having him or her in your life. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Appreciate your spouse. Appreciate your spouse for their contributions to the family. Appreciate them for what they do. It does not matter if you are the at-home parent or the parent who leaves the house to work. Express your appreciation even for the little things they do. For being a good father or mother, tell them ‘Thank you’.  Use compliments to make her feel loved.   Make time for you two as a couple.  Plan for some personal time together regularly. Take time out occasionally as a couple away from everyone to reflect on your marriage. Share your feelings. Ask for their needs, what they need from you and what you can do better.   Be each other’s best friend and a good team. Help each other fulfill your dreams and purpose. Look out for their best interest. Celebrate each other’s achievements. Love, support, encourage your spouse e.g. welcome them home after work in a way that helps them get over stress of the workplace and traffic congestion. Dress up for your husband. Dress to impress your husband. Help your children love their father.   Build trust. Let there be trust in your marriage. Be trustworthy. Trust your spouse. Let go of assumptions. Work on yourself. Work on self-improvement. Better yourself.  Identify and overcome any weakness. Drop all bad habits. Be a better person.   Love his mother. Mom and Dad. Love your in-laws. If you are experiencing overbearing in-law behavior have a conversation with your husband. He will know how to handle it.   Practice empathy. Step into your spouse’s shoes to understand their feelings and emotions without being critical or judgmental. Feel what they are going through. Get to understand their needs from their perspective. Don’t give advice if he doesn’t ask for it. Respect differences. Understand that it is okay to disagree.  Focus on each other’s strengths.   No partner is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and has faults. We make mistakes. We say wrong things. We do wrong things. Try to be understanding and forgiving don’t jump to blaming or criticizing your spouse. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.   Cooperate to find solutions to issues in your marriage. Work together to finding solutions. Appreciate your spouse for the little things he or she does for the family. Be a good problem solver, pursue peace and stable home life.   Stop fighting about household chores.  Discuss issues calmly respectfully.  You will arrive at what works for your own family and unique situation.   Don’t fight your husband because of money. Jointly fight poverty create common vision, see how you can both work together to improve your financial situation.     Pray Pray together regularly. Pray for your spouse. Open up to God about everything happening in your marriage. Trust God and see miracles happen. May God continue to bless your marriage with love and laughter.   Get Help If there are issues you cannot resolve on your own, seek help. Seek the help of a counselor or mediator to avoid the conflict escalating and becoming bigger issues. Seek help. Do not bully, provoke or speak to your spouse in anger. Manage your emotions. Exercise greater self-control. Express your feelings calmly. Domestic violence is a buildup of unresolved issues and bad behavior leading to resentment which eventually gets out of control. Learn to resolve your issues early. Be a good problem solver in your marriage. Don’t overlook or continue to endure abusive behavior, physical, emotional or psychological. Speak up. Cry out. If in danger, seek refuge. Leave. Keep yourself safe while intervention is ongoing. Seek help  

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