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Managing Behavioural Problems in Your Teenager

  A parent-child relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of the child. This unique bond helps the child exhibit a positive social behaviour. The healthy involvement of parents in the day-to-day life of their children helps ensure that their children perform better socially and academically.   The qualities of a good parent include constantly expresses love and affection for their children, provides support, sets limits, being a good example, communicates effectively and maintains a good relationship with the other parent.   Conflict Strategies Parents Can Use When your child exhibits challenging behaviour or has made wrong choices, communicate clearly and calmly with the child. Stay calm. Listen to your child. Put your phone down. Connect with your child. Stop what you are doing. Make eye contact, actively listen to your child and try not to downplay your child’s concerns. Let your child have their say. Focus on the issue or the behavior. Keep to boundaries do not give in to bad behaviour. Make your child know your concern is for their safety and well-being now and in the future.   Determine Underlying Causes Listen well to determine and address the underlying or root causes of the problem. Look beyond the rebellious behaviour to the causes. Ask questions to make him or her express their feelings, needs and concerns to get to the root of the problem. If appropriate give the child a chance to help solve the problem.   Assess your Parenting Style Evaluate the impact of your lifestyle and parenting style in the life of your child. Pay attention to your own habits and approach to parenting in terms of discipline, guidance, presence in the life of the child, meeting the specific and unique needs of the child.   Model Healthy Conflict Resolution Sometimes the rule is suspended. Sometimes you don’t need to criticize, judge or condemn your child. Have compassion for your child. Show your child love. Hug your child. Offer sincere apology and seek forgiveness for genuine shortcomings. Do not apportion blame but decide on what should be done from now on in your relationship. Do not try to make up for bad mistakes by becoming overly permissive but set out in a new direction with your child.   Pray for your child Pray for your child. Take the problem to God in prayer. Turn your child over to God. God loves the child more than you do. He can clean them up.   Get Help Seek professional help if you need to. When faced with a difficult or stressful relationship or behaviour, you cannot handle on your own seek independent help. Seek the help of a counselor, child psychologist or mediator.

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